The Grass is Always Greener
by mariobroultimate
Summary: Bowser gets sick and tired of being the lowly villain who gets nothing. So Kamek brings him to a universe where he can spend a day in his archenemy's shoes, to see what it's like to have the fame of a hero. (Based on Spongebob episode The Algae's Always Greener)


**And here I am with my first Spongebob remake to star Bowser! I promised him I'd do something with him at some point, so here you go. Based on The Algae's Always Greener. Before we start, after Bowser goes to the alternate universe, every character besides Bowser himself will be labeled as AU since they're technically different characters. So without further ado, let's a go!**

**I do NOT own Mario and Spongebob**

* * *

Bowser and Bowser Jr were standing outside of Peach's Castle, preparing to unleash their next plan.

Bowser: This time I'll have you Princess. Gwahaha!

He takes out a Mini Mushroom, shrinks himself down, and jumps into Junior's cannon.

Bowser: Alright Junior, shoot me into the window!

Bowser Jr.: You got it Papa!

Junior aims for the glass window on Peach's Castle and fires Bowser towards it.

Bowser: Yes! I'm coming for you Peach! Bwahaha!

But then the wind gets to him and blows him to the left.

Bowser: No! NO! NO! NO! NO!

Meanwhile, Mario was in the bathroom when a tiny object breaks into the room bouncing everywhere.

Mario: Huh? Whazzat?!

He immediately ducks down covering his head with his cap, shivering in fear. Until it stopped bouncing. Mario looked up and saw that it was a tiny Bowser and picked him up.

Mario: So, it was just another foiled princess kidnapping attempt by my archenemy, Bowser! Haha! For a second there, I mistook you for a threat. But you're just a dirty little man.

Mario then flings Bowser out through the hole he came in.

Mario: So long, reptile!

Yoshi heard Mario's insult and felt offended.

**Bowser: CUUURSE YOOOOU MARIOOOOO!**

Bowser crashes into his castle and Kamek was in front of him.

Kamek: Typical day of failure, I see.

Kamek uses his magic to turn Bowser back to normal size.

Kamek: Oh, can it Kamek. Can't you see I'm exhausted?

Bowser Jr. runs in.

Bowser Jr.: Sorry Papa! I guess my aim was bad.

Bowser: Don't worry Junior it's not your fault. It was the stupid wind! Now Kamek, why don't you make yourself useful and poof us up some grub?

Kamek: Yes, your majesty.

Kamek poofs up two pieces of meat.

Bowser Jr.: What's this?

Bowser: *sarcastic* Oh goody! Magic meatloaf **AGAIN**. When are **WE **gonna get some **REAL** food?! Mario gets to eat real food! Just look at him! When is he gonna lay off on all that pasta?!

Bowser walks over to his fridge to get a can of soda.

Bowser: I wish I could be successful like Mario. I wish I could somehow just switch lives with him. Just to know what it's like.

He takes a sip of his soda.

Kamek: Then… I could just send you to an alternate universe where you're the hero that saved Peach from the evil king Mario.

Bowser spits out his soda after hearing that.

Bowser: What a brilliant idea! Your parents must've been some sort of magicians or something.

Kamek: Oh brother…

Kamek casts a spell and prepares to shoot it at Bowser.

Bowser Jr.: Are you sure about this Papa?

Bowser: Don't worry Junior. I'll only be gone for a little while. I'm just interested to see what it's like to be the hero. Hate to leave you guys but you know what they say… "A rolling shell gathers no shrooms. Not even a blue one"

Kamek blasts Bowser and he disappears.

Bowser Jr.: Well… I'm just gonna play some Mario Kart 8 Deluxe.

He walks away.

Kamek: H-he's gone…

…

**FREEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOM!**

Bowser's Minions: YEAH!

The minions started partying it out.

* * *

Meanwhile, Bowser was sent flying through a wormhole traveling through space and time.

**Bowser: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

Bowser and the wormhole freeze and Bowser takes a sip of his soda he still had.

Bowser: *smacks lips* Aaah.

The wormhole starts up again.

**Bowser: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

Bowser wakes up exhausted.

Bowser: *groan* What… happened last night…?

Then Bowser realized he wasn't in his castle. He appeared to be in a small house laying on the bottom of two bunk beds. He thought he was dreaming.

Bowser: W-where am I?

Bowser looks around and notices Mario Kart trophies that he remembers Mario winning, only they were now labeled "Bowser Kart"

Bowser: Bowser Kart?

He looks around more and he sees a picture of him and Luigi together smiling.

Bowser: What in the-

He walks out of the room and looks out the window to see Peach's Castle in the distance.

Bowser: I'm in the Mushroom Kingdom… which means Kamek's spell was a success! I'm in Mario's place now!

He looks to see he's also wearing Mario's clothes and a black cap with his insignia.

Bowser: Corporate casuals.

AU Luigi: Morning Koopa bro! Get ready, we're going to a party at the castle!

Bowser: Be right there green sta- err Luigi!

Bowser goes to the mirror.

Bowser: *talking to self* This is it Bowser! Your time to shine! If being the hero doesn't make Peach love you, I don't know what will.

French Narrator: A walk to the castle later…

AU Toad: Bowser Brothers! Come on in! The Princess is expecting you.

Bowser: (Yes! I'm in the castle and I'm actually welcomed! So far, so good!)

It was 7:00 pm and the castle was full of party guests, there was a huge disco ball hanging from the ceiling, and there was a Lakitu DJ with the current song playing being "Jump Up Superstar" by Pauline and the New Donkers.

?: Bowser!

Bowser looked behind him, and he immediately grew hearts in his eyes, he saw Princess Peach herself (well the alternate universe version) in a beautiful prom dress looking lovingly at Bowser.

AU Peach: Glad you could make it! You look great!

Bowser blushed and was a little shy (pretty unusual for him), and walked over to her.

Bowser: Uh… thanks. And you look…

AU Peach: Stunning?

Bowser: Took the words right out of my mouth. Would you like this dance?

AU Peach: Why I'd love too!

She grabs his hands and they started dancing together. Bowser was at tears of joy.

Bowser: (All mine, it's finally all mine! The girl, the wealth, the notoriety, and soon the Mushroom Kingdom! It's perfect! Nothing can go wrong now.)

But Bowser's fantasies end when AU Luigi interrupts.

AU Luigi: Uh… excuse me bro?

Bowser: What do you want? Is it something important?

AU Luigi: Yeah, let's talk in private.

Bowser: Okay, I'll be back my lovely Princess!

AU Peach: Okay Bowser!

They walk into a bathroom.

Bowser: This had better be good.

AU Luigi: Well Bowser, I know this may be a bad time but it's Tuesday night and I was wondering if I could have my… weekly performance review.

Bowser: Review? I've never reviewed anything before… except those foreign exercise videos my cousin sent me.

AU Luigi: Please bro! I wanna make you proud!

Bowser: You're doing fine! Now leave me alone!

Bowser turns to leave but Luigi grabs his leg.

AU Luigi: But bro!

Bowser: I thought I told you, you're doing fine!

AU Luigi: But Bowser, there's gotta be something I can improve on, ANYTHING!

Bowser: Alright, uh…

Bowser thinks back to Luigi's abilities. He gets an idea.

Bowser: Okay, your traction.

AU Luigi: Huh?

Bowser: Your traction. You're a really good jumper. Better than Ma- I mean ME, in fact. But you traction is really bad. When you try to stop after running it can be easy for you to slip into bottomless pits. I'd work on that if I were you. Okay? Review's over.

AU Luigi didn't know how to respond and was too confused. His face suddenly turned into a stereotypical Asian face and starts stuttering as he jerks his arms back and forth.

AU Luigi: Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…

Bowser: What?

AU Luigi: Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…

Bowser: What's the matter with you? All I said was that you gotta improve your traction. It's not that big a deal, really.

AU Luigi: Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…

Bowser: Okay, you want to make yourself useful!? Then why don't you go and apply for a security guard job or something?

AU Luigi stopped stuttering and turned back to normal.

AU Luigi: Security guard!?

Bowser: Yes! Whatever keeps you out of my hair!

AU Luigi: Yes sir!

He runs off.

Bowser: Finally!

Later, AU Toad was sitting by the safe when he suddenly felt a shadow looming over him. He looked up to see AU Luigi.

AU Toad: Uh… Luigi? Could you give me a little space please?

AU Luigi: It's okay, Toad. I'm official!

He showed his new name tag and AU Toad flipped out.

AU Toad: Co-Security?! Who gave you this job?!

AU Luigi: It was Bowser's idea.

Back with Bowser and Peach.

Bowser: So Princess, I-

Before he could speak any further, AU Toad interrupted.

AU Toad: You can't do this to me, Bowser! If you think I'm gonna sit in a room all day, listening to-

AU Luigi: WEEGEE! WEEGEE! WEEGEE!

AU Luigi multiplied with the Double Cherry and the clones kept saying the same thing.

AU Toad: -then you must have fire flowers growing out of your frontal lobe!

Bowser: Well, what do you want me to do about it?

AU Toad: I'd like my view to be less green, if you know what I mean.

Bowser assigns AU Toad to maid duty and sends him to AU Peach's room.

Bowser: Hope you like pink!

AU Toad: *sigh*

Bowser: Now, no more intrusions! I'd like to begin writing the memoirs of my success story with Peach in private, so everyone just stay the-

Bowser was interrupted again when AU Toadette came in-

AU Toadette: Excuse me Mr. Bowser? Would you be so kind to donate money to the poor who wasted their money on Bowser is Missing and Hotel Bowser?

Bowser: *groan* Fine.

He takes out a coin and throws it in the basket.

Bowser: Hopefully this will help.

AU Toadette: One coin? Y-you don't really care about them do you?

Bowser could tell that she was about to cry and got scared.

Bowser: NO NO NO! Don't cry! I would've given you more but I left my wallet at home, and-

AU Toadette burst into tears, knocking Bowser back and flooding the castle. In a panic, Bowser held his breath and swam down to basement. There, he punched the two pillars in the castle's drainage system, and the water drained. (As it did, the same jingle that played when Mario drained the moat in Super Mario 64 played.) Bowser gasped and took deep breaths.

Bowser: HOW CAN THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE?!

He suddenly felt a tap on his shell. He looked back and saw AU Toadsworth. And he looked angry.

AU Toadsworth: Master Bowser, you think this is funny!?

Bowser: Well, in a cosmic sort of way, yes.

AU Toadsworth: Well, Mr Funny Man, come with me!

AU Toadsworth led Bowser upstairs to AU Peach's room.

AU Toadsworth: So tell me, is this how you get your sick kicks!?

Bowser: What? It's just Princess Peach's r-**OH MY GOODNESS!**

The room was a total wreck, the ceiling was cracking, the mirror was broken, there was garbage everywhere, and there were even mushrooms growing in some places.

**Bowser: TOAD!**

?: I tried Koopa bro, I really did.

He looked back to see AU Luigi all stressed out.

Bowser: Oh, what now?

AU Luigi: I tried to stop Waluigi from robbing the taxes, but he stole ONE COIN! HE STOLE ONE COIN! **I'VE SOILED THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM'S ECONOMY! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT!**

AU Luigi kept screaming that line for a very long time. Bowser started to really lose his temper at this point.

Bowser: I command you to stop that! Stop it and get back to work! Where's the off button on this thing?

AU Toadette: You know what Bowser? I thought you were a great hero, but turns out I was wrong! You are a selfish, greedy, dirtbag who probably just wants Peach for the throne! I think Luigi should be our new hero.

Bowser: **MAKE IT STOP!**

Suddenly a siren goes off and AU Luigi stops screaming.

Bowser: What, did I say the secret word?

AU Luigi: No… HE'S back.

Bowser: Who's back? What?

An alarm sounds.

**AU Luigi: RED ALERT! RED ALERT! EVERYBODY TAKE COVER!**

The party guests screamed and took cover. Bowser was both scared and confused at the same time. He starts running in circles.

Bowser: Take cover from what!?

AU Luigi runs to the main lobby to look for him. He sees a red blur.

AU Luigi: There he is!

Bowser: What?! Who?! Where?! Somebody tell me!

AU Daisy: Some say he crawled out from the darkest depths of the underwhere.

AU Toadette: He's more dangerous than any blue shell.

AU Luigi: He's the most hated being in the Mushroom Kingdom and beyond!

The red flash bursts out of the upstairs room, and he's revealed to be a man resembling Mario except he was only wearing metal braces on his arms and a pair of boxers. He was holding AU Peach in his arms.

AU Peach: BOWSER!

AU Mario: And, he's finally got Princess Peach! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

AU Peach: Help me!

Bowser: MARIO!? What in tarnation is going on here!?

AU Luigi: It's your arch rival, King Mario! His goal in life is to marry Princess Peach and rule the Mushroom Kingdom!

Bowser: That's terrible!

AU Luigi: Yeah! But the worst part is…

AU Mario lands in front of Bowser, the latter is put into shock!

**Bowser: GOOD GRIEF! HE HAS NO SHIRT!**

AU Mario: Clothe me if you can, suckers! HAHAHA!

AU Luigi: Imma gonna make you eat those words Mario!

The AU Toads provide AU Luigi with a cannon full of clothes.

AU Luigi: No shirt, no shoes-

Luigi starts firing.

**AU Luigi: NO SERVICE!**

The clothes all miss, but when AU Mario stopped to taunt, he got clothed. And to his embarrassment, it was a bra.

AU Mario: Aw mamma mia, ya got me! Well, at least it's underwire. Alright Princess, I'll let you go, FOR NOW!

He puts AU Peach down and kisses Bowser on the cheek despite having done absolutely nothing.

AU Peach: Thank you Bowser! You're my hero!

AU Luigi: Victory screech! **OOOOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO!**

**Everyone except AU Mario and Bowser: OOOOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO!**

Bowser gets irritated from the screeching.

AU Mario: Enjoy your victory screech Bowser! But one day, the Mushroom Kingdom will be mine!

AU Luigi: You'll never take this kingdom you twisted fiend!

AU Mario: Oh, but I will! Even if I have to come back tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day,..

He keeps repeating as he moonwalks out the door. Bowser starts sweating nervously, he never thought he'd actually be scared of Mario. Was this how he felt back in the normal universe?

AU Luigi: Phone call, bro.

AU Mario (through the phone): …and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day…

Bowser couldn't take it anymore and just exploded.

**Bowser: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

He rips off his clothes, revealing a button underneath.

Bowser: It's just not worth it! Goodbye, everyone! I'll remember you all in therapy!

* * *

He presses the button and teleports back to his universe where he shows up in the middle of a party. Everyone freezes.

Kamek: Oh, Bowser! You're back! I can explain!

Bowser: Just clean this place up and get me some grub! I've already had a long day as it is.

Bowser sits at his table where he's greeted by his son.

Bowser Jr.: Papa! You're back! So how was your day as a hero?

Bowser: Well, Junior, it's a long story.

Meatloaf poofs up in front of them.

Bowser: Meatloaf… my favorite!

Bowser Jr.: Yeah!

* * *

**Hopefully Bowser learned a lesson from all of this. (Or maybe not). Have a good day!**

**Cast:**

**Bowser-Plankton**

**Bowser Jr.-Extra**

**Mario-Mr. Krabs**

**Kamek-Karen**

**AU Luigi-AU Spongebob**

**AU Peach-Krabby Patty**

**AU Toad-AU Squidward**

**AU Toadette-AU Pearl**

**AU Toadsworth-AU Nat Peterson**

**AU Waluigi (mentioned)-Customer that ordered a medium soda but got a large.**

**AU Daisy-AU Harold**

**AU Mario-AU Mr. Krabs**


End file.
